New Year

11pm on December 31st. Most people are celebrating the end of yet another year by blowing things up, drinking the spirits of the season, enjoying the company of their friends and family - I'd be lying if I wasn't doing the same!

On New Year's Eve, while I'm often attending little gatherings, I can't say I'm really socially present. I find that December 31st is the night that I most want to write and reflect; I think about what I was doing at this exact moment last year, and how different what I'm doing is right now, and all of the things that happened in the past year to cause those differences.

2013 was a weird year for me Just tonight I've been reminded of many less-than-pleasant memories of the year that I'd successfully put on the back burner for some time. That is, in addition to the ones that I was not so lucky to forget.

I completely lost myself early in 2013 and have spent the majority of it just trying to find myself again. I'm still working on it, but I'm happy to say that there has been progress.

I don't want to think about 2013. I don't want to think about 2014. I am 20 years, four months, and three days old. My life is in a constant state of flux, college is a never ending identity crisis, I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and have been for years. 2014 starts in 12 minutes. I'm going to kiss the boy that I've been blessed with for the past six years and then begin my new year - I will simply try to be the best version of myself in 2014. I will try to stay in the moment and I will try to remain content.

Happy New Year, my lovely followers, readers, lurkers - I appreciate you all so much! Enjoy yourselves as we begin another chapter in our lives; but it's just a chapter. Don't feel obligated to create the whole story!

Monday Mania: Reunion Edition!

Hi everyone! I'm sorry it's been so long... I have been SO busy. I spent the entirety of December working my ass off to sell gift cards and provide the best service to our guests at the mall... and it paid off, because two days for Christmas, I was walking to the booth with my manager and she goes, "So, do you like this job?" and I told her that I'd really been enjoying it. She then says, "Good, because we've decided to keep you permanently!" I told her I had been working really hard and I really loved it and she told me she had definitely noticed the hard work, and that was just great. I get to start the New Year on a good foot - employed! I'm so excited.

But, yeah, working through the holidays took SO much out of me. I basically only worked, slept, and tried to get all of my holiday chores done. It was insane.

For this post, I'm just going to post a ton of pictures and give you an update on my life in little tidbits, so enjoy!

Firstly, though, I want to post my current favorite song - "I Want Crazy" by Hunter Hayes. I discovered this song when an a cappella group, Home Free, performed it on the finale of the Sing Off!

Christmas came and went as it usually does. My family ended up coming to my apartment and we had a good time! I asked for a Kindle Paperwhite for Christmas, and Santa Claus went above and beyond and brought me a Kindle Fire HDX. It's amazing. At first I thought I would prefer a reader alone, but as a techie, I've been LOVING this Kindle. It's so much fun, and I am loving being able to read books, magazines, blogs, the news, etc. on the same device!

Ryan got me this gorgeous necklace for Christmas. IT IS SO PRETTY.

Knightro has been staying with me since Christmas. I can't decide who's happier about having him here: him or me!

He loves sitting and looking out windows :)

• I got to see Sara Bareilles and Parachute perform at the House of Blues a couple weeks ago. It was incredible. Sara Bareilles is such a talented musician and a sweet person, and I am constantly inspired by her work.
• I finished up this semester in the beginning of December; as usual I was stressed out and a mess over school. My GPA is still a hilarious joke but it's slowly getting better, and that's what matters. The desire to drop out, however, just gets stronger and stronger and every day. I don't like school.
• Next semester I'm signed up for five classes. I'm not planning on taking all five of them; I just couldn't decide on which ones to pick so I figured I'd just decide that in the first week of class. Who knows, maybe I'll keep them all! I am trying to take it easy next semester for a few reasons: to get my GPA up, to allow more time for work since my family is going through a financially painful time right now and I'm turning 21 this year and I want to be able to support myself more, to allow more time for stuff I enjoy and is therefore good for my mental health (a cappella, taking some craft classes here and there, cooking, etc.), and a million other things.

Here's my current weekly setup in my desk-size planner.  Not sure how I feel about it. I've used the last few months as test runs for setups that I like, but I really want to be set up for the new year in a more uniform way!

In a Secret Santa exchange online, I received these beautiful Flavia monthly calendars - I'm in love! Each month is a different color. I think it's perfect.

My little brother got me this super appropriate calendar for Christmas. I can't wait to look at it for a year straight.

Hooray for calendars! Check out my first planner video on YouTube, too:

I GOT A NEW BABY DUMBO RAT AND SHE IS SO CUTE AND I AM LOVING HER SO MUCH

I named her Britta, after the character on Community!

Here's Home Free, my Sing Off favorites, performing "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. This performance is killer. Just watch it. You'll understand when you're done.

Knightro enjoys just sitting and staring at my rats and mice.

Hope you all had a great holiday and a wonderful New Year! There will be more updates now that the holiday season is over - no worries :)

"Tired" doesn't even begin to describe it.

I am exhausted. I am burnt-out and broken down. I am over-worked, under-motivated, and yet my mind is constantly racing with ideas, to-do lists, worries, needs, wants. My body can't keep up with my mind and my mind can't keep up with the world.

Just like my energy, my attention span and motivation are waning. If I am not staring aimlessly at nothing, my brain is constantly coming up with new thoughts that MUST(!!!!!) be remembered or taken care of or written down. And so most of the time, I am left with either an unrealistically long to-do list, or an overwhelming plague of disappointment because I couldn't remember that idea, that thing I needed to do, that blog post I wanted to write.

I am at work right now; a place I am finding myself quite often lately. I don't really mind it. The job is wonderful, for the most part, and as far as I'm aware, I'm not disappointnig the higher-ups in any way. However, that damn mind of mine is constantly bringing me down.

While at work (in down time - usually there are lulls at the booth), I wanted simply to study for the statistics final that I have tomorrow at 7am.

Instead, I started typing up a simple study guide, and quickly gave up for lack of attention and anxiety over the fact that I have a 7am final and I won't be home until 11pm at the earliest and I'm far less than prepared for this final than I'd like to be and college is overwhelming and I don't know what I'm doing with it and at this point I'd rather just drop out.

See what I mean? It's overwhelming.

All week I've been trying to take a break from staring aimlessly or endless task lists by sitting down and writing in my journal, catching up on some television, scrapbooking, whatever. Just something relaxing; preferably something that requires some focus and creative energy.

My theme for anything I've done this week has been "slow down." It's written in giant, colorful letters on at least two days in my planner this week.

The problem, however, is that I feel like I don't have time, and maybe I don't. I don't know.

All I know is that it's finals week, my psychiatrist is missing in action, my therapist can't get me in to see her, CVS is out of my crazy pills, and constantly failing at keeping up with my racing mind is not helping.

So, my dearest followers, I have some advice. Whether you're dealing with work stress, school stress, family stress, holiday stress, something else, all of the above, whatever:

Slow down.

The laundry will be folded. The groceries will be bought. The checkbooks will be balanced and regardless of the outcome, this semester will be over soon. And no matter what happens, you will feel better when it's all over and you know that, if anything, you survived.

I'm trying to take this to heart, myself. I have a massive problem with not living in the moment - quite common among those who suffer from notable anxiety issues. Earlier today - and I wish I remembered what I had actually thought - I told myself that I'm not living in the moment. I was living in the two hours from now, ten hours from now, a week from now, a decade from now, and I needed to snap back into the moment.

I have since been brought back to my usual state of future-panic, but I had a nice morning of peace in which I was able to run some necessary errands (deposit check at the bank, pay rent, try to fill prescription, check mail, get textbook from Ryan's) while enjoying Christmas music and not panicking about the fact that I'd be leaving for work in a few hours and I wish there was more time in the day.

Just slow down every once in a while. Regardless of how I do on my final tomorrow, or how my grade comes out in the class, I know I'll be significantly more relaxed on Monday when all of my work is done for a month.

Your kids will still hug you, even if you can only provide a $50 Christmas. Your parents will still love you, even if you fail that test. Your significant other won't hate you if some comfort or ease in the relationship is sacrificed in order for you to do something you love.

And if they do, maybe they need to slow down, too.

Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball (Cover by Marius Beck)

I've always loved "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus. Despite her reputation and, in my opinion, kind of odd music video, I really admire the raw emotion she's put into the song. You can really feel that wrecking ball she's talking about.

Eric Whitacre, an incredible contemporary composer whose work I have always loved performing in choirs, posted this cover on Facebook earlier - and just WOW. It's good.

Happy Sunday!

Monday Mania - freebie time!

Good morning everyone! It's Monday! AHHHHHH!

This here is the calm before the storm. I work at a mall and this week is Thanksgiving week.

Sigh.

I'll be working around 35+ hours per week in the month of December and it's going to be pretty wild. I don't even want to think about it. SO I WON'T.

The family is coming to Orlando for Thanksgiving this year! I'm so excited. I've missed those crazies a ton, and I'm excited to host my first Thanksgiving!

My brain is mush, but I do have a few gifts for you all! I'm working on designing a printable planner for 2014, so I started by trying out my skills on some 2013 pages. Here are some weekly pages and to-do lists for the rest of the year :) These are made for a classic/desk size/A5/5.5" x 8.5" planner, so keep that in mind when you're printing it out! Click on the weekly pictures to download, and click on the link below the to-do list to download that!

Matching To-Do List

As you  can see, these are super simple layouts - great for customization (washi tape, anyone?!).

Enjoy!

Friday Five!

Happy Friday y'all!

I've had a week. It's been busy and stressful and then yesterday was just sad.

BUT. It's a new day. And we are on to a Friday Five. And I'll get the sadness out of the way first.

1. Yesterday, one of my dear baby mouse friends died. It happened really fast and was just SO DEPRESSING. April, the black one, is the one that died. She had been acting totally normal! Even when I saw her yesterday morning. And then I passed by the cage in the afternoon and noticed she was acting weird - breathing really funny and just standing in one place. So I picked her up and ten minutes later she was gone. It was sad. I'm still in shock and pretty upset, but I'm also really thankful that all of the other mice and my rats are still acting normal and seem to be feeling okay. In honor of April, here's that adorable little mouse rat music video.

2. I got my work schedule for December yesterday. LAWD. Lawd. It is indeed going to be a busy month. Here's a picture of my calendar for December - LOOK AT ALL OF THAT ORANGE. Lawd.

3. The Planner Addicts  Facebook group I've been active in the past few months is closing the first of December, as announced by the creator yesterday. I think it's a little strange that grown women (like, these women are middle-aged! Moms and stuff!) are getting so dramatic and rude on Facebook that an entire group of thousands of people has to be deleted, but whatever. Anyway, out of that announcement came the birth of a million and one new groups, so I took some pictures of my planner to post to a couple and show people. I wanted to show off my weekly spread, because I designed it myself and it looks pretty nice!

4. I'm broke so I took all of the cash out of my bank accounts and stuck it in envelopes and stuck those envelopes in a pouch. It's working alright so far. Except for the part where I forgot to get cash when I went to work the other day... that wasn't exactly the best. Once I work out all of the kinks in this cash budget of mine I want to post more about it! You know, to go along with the "frugal" part of this blog ;)

5. Last but not least, I played with a kitten last night while wearing footie pajamas. It was quite an important moment in my life, and so here is a sped-up video of me playing with the kitten whilst wearing footie pajamas, with dramatic music in the background.

Andddd that's all for today, folks! Hope you all had a better week than I did, and have a great weekend! Look forward to some more posts and videos coming soon - I've got lots of stuff in the works. :)

Friday Five? Nope, Friday FREEBIE!

My brain is mush and I can't think of five things to write about, so I'm going to give you all a free planner!

As you all know, I am a planner addict. I love my planner. I couldn't life without it - I'd be lost.

This week, I was thinking about making my own weekly pages for my Daytimer when a lady on the Planner Addicts Facebook group asked if anyone had a simple, printable weekly planner for the same size for the rest of November! So I went ahead and made one through the end of December, and I decided I'd share it with my lovely blog readers!

I love the vertical layout of this planner! I will always prefer vertical to horizontal weekly formats. I also really love the simplicity of the design - it allows for lots of personalization. As you can see, I love my Washi tape.

Here's what a blank spread looks like - simple, clean, and effective.

Thanks for looking! Click on the above pictures to download the weekly pages for November and December.  There will DEFINITELY be more to come. :)

No Post on Sundays! (just kidding, here's a Sunday Freebie!)

JUST KIDDING!

Happy Sunday, everyone! Do you ever want to make a list, but get discouraged because your paper isn't an adorable list?! Well, no fear - for I come bearing GIFTS! Gifts of FREE LISTS!

I present to you six free printable checklists, in different colored chevron patterns! The downloads come with Need, Want, Ideas, To Buy and two different colored Notes lists. :)

Feeling crafty!? I customized my CVS shopping/coupon list with Washi Tape last week!

There are two separate downloads; click the coordinating picture to download your free printable lists. Have an awesome day, everyone!

Friday Five: Organization Overview Edition!

Hey y'all! Sorry it's been a while - but this post will be a good one! I'm currently sipping on a smoothie, ready to pound out this exciting post.

1. I've been in a bit of a slump the past few weeks; the end of the semester is near and I can feel it. When I get into these slumps, I tend to care a lot less about being neat and organized. Unfortunately, having things out of place and such increases my anxiety and makes it impossible for me to focus. So, really, last week I was a worthless blob of flesh.

The only way to pull me out of these dark depths of despair is to wait until I can gather up the motivation and then get my life back together. I've had a few organizational projects just sitting around unfinished lately; the largest being my desk/office space, and the rest being small, simple things. I've spent a lot of time watching videos on Youtube about organizing things (nope, don't have a life at all) and finally found the motivation. Numbers two through five of the Friday Five are going to be picture-heavy overviews of this week's make-me-feel-better organizational frenzy! Enjoy :)

2. My Desk Space - there's still a LOT of things I want to do here. I'm happy with how it's come along, but it's just not quite right yet. I have some ideas that will hopefully end up being the answers to my desk space wishes. Enjoy the pictures!

The bookshelves are proving to be a big hassle for me. I think I'm ALMOST happy with how this one has turned out. Almost.

I named this picture "terrible shelf" because it drives me insane and I've tried a thousand million different arrangements for it and nothing is working out and I'm going insane.

This desktop (shelf-top, for me) carousel is amazing. I am obsessed.

I've recently taking an interest in stamping. I found this crown one for 49¢ the other day and yeah it's perfect. I do have a sign that says "Yes, I am the Queen" hanging above my desk, anyway!

3. My Planner - I'm just obsessed with it. Enjoy the beautiful pictures.

4. My Coupons - I finally got around to sorting through these coupons. I've had the file box and the file folders for around a month and just never sorted it. I love how this system is working out so far. It's really great. I keep inserts in each monthly folder based on the date they were published. For now, while the box is pretty empty, my binder even fits in the front! Not for long, though, I'm sure. I also took the cover pages for each section out of the sheet protectors and just hole-punched them (they were printed on card stock - I don't know why I didn't do that in the first place) and relabeled the divider tabs with my lovely label maker!

Neat and beautiful binder tabs!

5. My File Box - I tend to keep papers. Like, everything. If there is even the slightest chance that I will need to reference it at any given point for the rest of my lifetime, I'll keep it. Both of my parents are like this as well, and saving my papers has actually been pretty helpful for me a few times in the past, so it's not something I'm going to stop doing. I had been keeping all of my paperwork in an expanding file, but it got to the point where it wouldn't even close anymore - so after seeing how awesome my coupon file box was, I decided to do the same thing with my exploding files! Unfortunately, the pretty colors are not as cheap at Target as they were at Walmart, so all of these folders are green. While I was sorting papers/taking these pictures, I came up with a few more sections that I thought would be useful additions to this system, so currently in the "to be filed" folder is all of the papers that fall into the new categories that I'm going to add after this blog post. Moving my files from the exploding file to the box has already proved useful, so I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds in the life of my file organization.

Certain more specific categories had a LOT more paperwork than others - hence why "mental health" is a completely separate tab from "medical," for example.

That's it for now! Have an awesome weekend!

Note: There will be individual posts (maybe even videos!) about each of these projects once they are completed and organized for posting!